When Caring Becomes Too Heavy: A Therapist’s Words on Compassion Fatigue

Online counselling support for the exhaustion and guilt arising from compassion fatigue. I provide care to those who are offering care to loved ones in a health crisis.

You never expected to be this tired.

Not just physically, but deep in your soul.

Maybe you’re caring for an aging parent. Or a spouse whose health is declining. Or a child with complex needs. Maybe you’re showing up every day for patients, parishioners, or the brokenhearted in your work. You have become accustomed to carrying so much that most people don’t see.

But lately, something feels off. You’re more irritable than usual. Emotionally flat. You find yourself withdrawing from others or feeling numb when someone shares something hard. Maybe you even feel guilty for thinking, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

If that’s you, you may be experiencing something we call compassion fatigue.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is the cost of caring for others in emotional, physical, or spiritual distress. It’s not burnout from too much work, it’s different, it’s the depletion that comes from too much heart-felt giving to others but not enough to yourself.

It can show up as:

– Emotional numbness or detachment
– Increased anxiety or irritability
– Trouble sleeping or feeling constantly exhausted
– Loss of joy or purpose
– Guilt for needing space or rest
– Feeling spiritually dry or far from God

If any of these resonate, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re a human being with limits and your soul is asking for care.

Why Caregivers Are Especially Vulnerable

As a therapist and spiritual care provider, I’ve worked with many caregivers: mothers, nurses, pastors, daughters, spouses, who love deeply and give constantly. And one thing I’ve noticed?

You rarely ask for help.

You often feel that needing rest means you’re not strong enough. That setting boundaries means you don’t love enough. That taking time for yourself is selfish.

But here’s the truth: You cannot give what you do not have.
Your compassion still needs boundaries and your soul needs tending too.

The Deeper Story Behind Your Fatigue

Sometimes compassion fatigue is also an invitation to look more closely at what you’re carrying. Is there grief you’ve put on the shelf? Resentment that hasn’t had words? A part of you that feels invisible or forgotten?

Therapy can be a safe space to bring those parts into the light. A place to name the weight, without judgment and work with someone who can help you honour your story.

What Healing Can Look Like

If you’re starting to feel the cracks, please don’t wait until you’re completely depleted. Here’s what might help right now:

Start with radical permission. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to need support. You are allowed to have limits.

Create micro-moments of care. Sit in silence with a warm drink. Breathe deeply in the car before going inside. Read one verse that reminds you that God sees you.

Reach out. Whether it’s a friend, a support group, or a therapist—connection can refill what loneliness drains.

Begin therapy. Especially if you don’t know how to set boundaries, or if guilt is louder than your own needs. Therapy is not selfish. It’s sacred space.

You’re Allowed to Be Human

If you’re weary today, hear me: you matter, too. Your compassion is beautiful and it was never meant to be endless. If you find ways to take care of you then you will continue to have good care for others. Even Jesus stepped away to rest.

You don’t have to wait until you’re completely undone. You can begin tending to yourself now—with grace, with help, and with hope.

And if you’re looking for a space to start, I’m here.

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I offer online therapy for caregivers and helpers in Ontario who are navigating exhaustion, grief, and the weight of holding others together. You deserve care, too.