When Caring Becomes Too Heavy: Therapy for Compassion Fatigue

Online counselling support for the exhaustion and guilt arising from compassion fatigue. Learn boundaries to help with healing and self-care.

You never expected to be this tired.

Not just physically, but deep in your soul.

Maybe you’re caring for an aging parent. Or a spouse whose health is declining. Or a child with complex needs. Maybe you’re showing up every day for patients, parishioners, or the brokenhearted in your work. You have become accustomed to carrying so much that most people don’t see.

But lately, something feels off. You’re more irritable than usual. Emotionally flat. You find yourself withdrawing from others or feeling numb when someone shares something hard. Maybe you even feel guilty for thinking, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

If that’s you, you may be experiencing something we call compassion fatigue.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is the cost of caring for others in emotional, physical, or spiritual distress. It’s not burnout from too much work, it’s different, it’s the depletion that comes from too much heart-felt giving to others but not enough to yourself.

It can show up as:

– Emotional numbness or detachment
– Increased anxiety or irritability
– Trouble sleeping or feeling constantly exhausted
– Loss of joy or purpose
– Guilt for needing space or rest
– Feeling spiritually dry or far from God

If any of these resonate, I hope you validated in reading this list. It’s not your fault, and you’re not failing. You’re a human being who loves greatly. And its also important to get in touch with your limits because your soul is asking for care.

Why Caregivers Are Especially Vulnerable

As a therapist and spiritual care provider, I’ve worked with many caregivers: mothers, nurses, pastors, daughters, spouses, who love deeply and give constantly. And one thing I’ve noticed?

Caregivers, you rarely ask for help. And over time, without enough support, that commonly leads to compassion fatigue.

You often feel that needing rest means you’re not strong enough. That setting boundaries means you don’t love enough. That taking time for yourself is selfish.

But here’s the truth: You cannot give what you do not have.
Your compassion still needs boundaries and your soul needs tending too. Have you thought about the benefits of therapy?

The Deeper Story Behind Your Fatigue

Compassion fatigue is an invitation to look more closely at what you expect of yourself, and the reality of what you’re living through. Is there grief you’ve put on the shelf and you’re afraid of? That if you let yourself truly feel the deep sadness within you, you might break? Are you noticing within yourself that there is resentment that hasn’t had words? That people aren’t really listening? Is there a part of you that feels invisible or forgotten? Are you unsure of how to set boundaries?

Therapy can be a safe space to bring those parts into the light. A place to name the weight, without judgment, and work with someone who can help you honour your story and name your needs.

What Therapy for Compassion Fatigue Can Look Like

If you’re starting to feel the cracks, please don’t wait until you’re completely depleted. Here’s what might help right now:

1. Start by giving yourself radical permission. You are allowed to rest, need support, and set boundaries.

2. Create micro-moments of care. Sit in silence with a warm drink. Breathe deeply in the car before going inside. Read one verse that connects you to your faith.

3. Reach out. Whether it’s a friend, a support group, or a therapist. Connection can refill the loneliness.

4. Begin therapy. Obviously I think that. But it’s true and transformational. Therapy helps, especially if you need support to set boundaries, or you are struggling with guilt.

You’re Allowed to Be Human

If you’re weary today, hear me: you matter. Your work matters, your care matters, and it’s not only up to you to meet the needs of the people around you. Compassion is beautiful, and compassion fatigue is real. Your energy is not endless. If you find ways to take care of you then you will continue to have good care for others.

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I offer online therapy for caregivers and helpers in Ontario who are navigating exhaustion, grief, and the weight of holding others together. You deserve care, too.

Erika Mills, RP, is a registered psychotherapist, clinical spiritual health educator and specialist with 9+ years supporting clients through grief, burnout, and life changes professionally.